he wouldn't shut up and let me sleep
yeah i got into a fight with my man last night
why can't men just shut up and put out?
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
I found a body half wedged into my bedroom wall this morning. How do I explain THIS to the carpenters?
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
Randomize
