i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
I guess you know it was a good night when you find your ripped underwear in your pocket, and a nerf bullet falls out of your pant leg 😂😂
Randomize
