the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
Nothing like coming home and finding the nearly full bottle of fireball you forgot you had stashed before your trip
It's the little things
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
Randomize
