You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
guys are not supposed to queef...right?
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
Bartenders are not toys. I repeat, bartenders are not toys.
I told him he was, quote: "A big cuddly bear" and he needed to get into my bed or I would set his Golden Retriever free.
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
Why did you buy a cock ring?
I’m going to propose to his penis
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