He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
Randomize
