Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
were you wearing a green and blue thong last night?
yes! wait why?
because i found it in my pocket this morning...
I woke up with dick mouth, a raw vagina, an empty bottle of vodka and the best man next to me. I also found my thong by the pool. Best.Wedding.Ever.
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
She just started grabbing all the hospital's rubber gloves and face masks and shoving them in her purse, saying, "My tax money paid for these!"
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
Johns diaper came in the mail. He's freaking out thinking there's some conspiracy going on since he sharted on the drive home from st. Louis
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
I had 17 beers 2 days ago. I'm not dad material yet
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
Randomize
