Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
You don't know being judged until its 7:30 in the morning and you're on 2 hours of sleep halfway between drunk and hungover wearing pajama pants at an international airport while saying how proud you are that you found the airport's bar immediately and how disappointed you are that it's closed
I'm sexting with a 20 year old that has a foot fetish... This is what Sailor Jerry drives me to do.
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
You know you were really drunk last night when you woke up and had someone else's jacket with their car keys and medical marijuana that you wore home from the bar and no sign of your actual jacket.
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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