I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
I'm drunk. And at a vegan cafe. You would hate it. Don't tell my hipster friend but I kinda hate it too.
You were sitting at the bus stop holding hands with some Polish girl you just met, who was just as drunk as you were, and you kept trying to light your Kit Kat and smoke it.
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
I awoke in a cab to find myself on a ride to niagara falls. Apparently I paid the cab driver half up front.
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
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