There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
.... I'm on a random couch somewhere in Newark wrapped in a Lightning McQueen blanket
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
Well now I’m in the bathroom puking up absinthe so guess I beat myself up over it one way or the other
Randomize
