Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
I need to do something profound in the next three and a half years so that when my kids ask what I did in my twenties I have something to say other than "made bad decisions"
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
i fucking swear, saying shit like "i dont get jealous" is like personally inviting your slutty friend to fuck the guy you slept with like a month ago
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
Randomize
