it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
Please tell me how you drunkenly remembered your social security number when we were checking you into the ER.
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
You’re a genius! I just walked in, shut the door, blew him and left. He could barely move afterwards and was a hot mess at the presentation. He already sent me a calendar invite for another meeting
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