I like how you formally end text interactions, just turn your phone off or don't respond you pervert
i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
Randomize
