i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
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