your room smells of hookers.
And success
i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
This is much more drunk than i was intending for a wednesday
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
Semen is not good for contacts.
Dude she flew me 1000 miles down to see her, broke up with me 7 hrs after arrival, and kicked me out with a week left til I fly home. Thank god college taught me how to shack up
Having my alarm go off at 3:30 makes me wanna rip my dick off and shove it through my eye socket
On a separate note, I just found out some condoms aren't vegan. Problem.
Hahahaha I can't wait for you to ask "wait. are there any animal by products in that?"
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
Randomize
