I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
My cab driver just suggested I brush my teeth because he can smell "the party" on me.
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
Before I go in, is 'I just got a root canal 2 hours ago' a good excuse to show up drunk to yoga class with a 6 pack? Because if not I think I need to go home.
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
Randomize
