You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
Randomize
