On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
When I meet a new girl, I'm terrified of mentioning something she hasn't already told me but that I have learned from some light internet stalking.
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
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