do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
I made it with a guy dressed as Mitt Romney. I told him "you can't have my vote, but you can have my body"
Happy Birthday. May your liver respect you, fat bitches neglect you, hangovers reject you, and AA accept you.
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
Randomize
