guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
captain morgan taught me last night that resee's puffs are way better when eaten straight out of the sink.
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
I guess I was trying to make a cheese sandwich, I had to change my sheets cuz I slept on it and the cheese melted all over me, Dave, and my bed
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
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