I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
I told my new friends about my possible new chin. They said I should get my nose done first. Please tell me I'm pretty or something.
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
This last weekend single handedly took me off the liver transplant list
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
Woke up in the front yard with a chalupa and a firecracker in my back pocket. It's what the founding fathers would want
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
If there was a tv show called "True Life: My 58 Year Old Dad Rolls Better J's Than Me" I'd be on it.
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
Was I just dreaming, or was there a corpse at work last night?
She was just sleeping.
Is it bad that I'm kind of disappointed by that?
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