Dude if I didn't piss myself last night I dont think I would have woke up in time for work.
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
He picked me up from the airport wearing nothing but a trench coat and a bow on his dick
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
Were not even through the second month of the year and I potentially may have torpedoed a marriage...
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
Why would I want a relationship when I’m the side dick for my boss and a few women from the gym
Randomize
