This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
peeing on that welcome mat was like, the highlight of my week
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
doctors was a success... no liver damage and I lost five pounds.. we're celebrating tonight you get the whiskey I'll get the burritos.
Come home, I'm drunk on the porch and pretending to smoke breadsticks like cigarettes. Enticing, right?
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
Randomize
