I wanna passion pit in your ass
I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
I'm in a waiting room at the hospital - and there's a dude here who is WAY too proud of his urine sample.
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
Wait do we still get bagels if no one got laid
I know it doesn't seem right, but sometimes, bagels are just flat out called for.
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
Just don't have sex while watching Home Alone. It will ruin Christmas for you.
The prescription the hospital gave me for pain and nausea doubles for my hangovers... Maybe I'll hit up the ER more often
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
Randomize
