I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
I just convinced a girl to drink my spit cup cuz I said it was dark beer and would get her drunk faster. I dare you to try something better.
Talk about awkward... Just went to dinner with my mother and realized I fucked our waiter the night before. She HAD to see the looks he was giving me!
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
I just got baptized.
Drunkenly skinny dipping in a indoor hotel pool is not okay and does not count as a baptism.
Randomize
