My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
He never called back after I emailed him my booty call contract.
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
This gyro tastes like lonliness
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
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