What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
Gonna be late. Someone jumped in front of our train.
Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
I sold 10 pepperonis for 5 dollars last night....i fucking love drunk people
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
I told you I missed you and you said you missed me as much as you miss a urinary tract infection. I get it. You're still mad.
They are going to name an STD after you.
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
He showed up soaking wet with a flashlight and a ping pong ball. I couldn't say no
Well we've always known you have a weakness for guys with balls in their hands
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
Randomize
