so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
dude i woke up to her making a statue of my morning wood for her sculpture class. HOW THE FUCK do you think i feel about her?
My mom is pretending to be Paula Deen while making breakfast...I'm pretty sure she's sober.
Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
YOU HAVE PISSED AND FUCKED ON LITERALLY EVERYTHING IN MY HOUSE
Not everything, just a few things. And only a few times. The odds are really not all that bad when you break it down.
you’ve pissed every time you slept over. there’s no such thing as odds anymore. it’s guaranteed
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
I was taking a nap and she comes in wo/ pants, gets up on the bed and mounts my face while watching Weeds on Netflix. I'm okay with it, but at least let me wake up first.
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
Randomize
