i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
im gonna call it quits for tonight... I am so drunk I dont even have the motor skills to masturbate
Became best friends with the hotdog stand creeper outside the bar. Cried and told him my feet hurt too much to walk home then begged him to hire me.
I tried to discuss modern art with a cab driver after explaining that I only had one shoe on b/c a pitbull ate the other one. Wtf. Call me when you can.
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
Come on in and take your pants off
Randomize
