The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
pssssst. you dropped everyone else off and forgot about me. im in the backseat of your car still. can you please come back outside and either let me out or take me home?
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
Randomize
