Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
They wont sell alcohol here on election day! HOW THE FUCK DO THEY EXPECT ME TO ENJOY THE ELECTION SOBER?
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
WHY WOULD YOU SWIPE RIGHT???!!!!!
The same reason I ordered and ate almost an entire pizza last night
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
Randomize
