i just sat at a stop sign for 10 minutes waiting for it to turn green. i need to STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT.
her facebook's as public as her vagina
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
I'm actually glad the whole thing's over now. It's exhausting to fake a pregnancy.
Imagine not having to fake it.
Yeah, I should never have kids, probably.
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
Randomize
