Too much gin, very little bucket
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
there are chunks of pepperoni under the sheets. can you be here in 10? breakfast in bed?
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
She asked if I wanted to "Mormon Motorboat" her, which I guess is just motor-boating her through her cloths. Turns out I did.
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
Your birthday is now over. Your day in the spotlight has dimmed and now you're as special as everyone else. The world goes back to revolving around me. Good night.
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
It’s like I’m living in some alternate wet dream universe right now
Randomize
