Bisexual people are plain selfish.
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
These old people don't even realize they're giving me weed money for shoveling snow.
A horse told me not to drive home last night. I think there was a cop on top of it.
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
Only in my life does a conversation about Hanukkah lead to sexting
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
Randomize
