update: the house isnt on fire anymore, but he is still pissing on all your stuff.
the house was on fire??
shit I thought I told you.
it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
did you just send me my own nude
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
Apparently walking into a national conference and proclaiming "i'm here to fuck shit up" is frowned upon.
Who knew?
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
Randomize
