I hooked up with a Michael Jackson impersonator last night. Too soon?
You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
I recorded his drunk dial calls. My personal favorite was the one that began, "grab the bull by the horns and fuck his cock."
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
Just stuffed an entire cupcake in my mouth after finishing third glass of wine. Valentines day is pretty much going how i expected it.
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
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