Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
As I was throwing up blood I assured concerned onlookers that I had simply "eaten a lot of ketchup today"
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
mike is out of commission and cannot make breakfast. he's sitting with two frozen waffles on his face & smiling like an idiot.
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
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