What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
I have a voicemail from Mike at 1am. He starts to say something, but then throws up instead.
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
Immaculate conception is definitely the most boring way to conceive a child.
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
I think the universe has a conglomeration of sentences reserved only for me.
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
Randomize
