Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
During my first week as an adjunct prof, I played a fiercely fought game of squash with a law student and we wound up having hot, sweaty, angry sex right on the floor of the court. She is either the best or worst thing to happen to my academic career. Will let you know.
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
Dude, you screamed I AM THE WALRUS while giving a statue of Ronald McCdonald a lapdance. You were NOT sober.
Randomize
