I introduced my face to asphalt last night. They didn't get along.
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
either way he was missing a nipple.
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
we're about an hour out, how's the weather?
cloudy with a chance of strippers and cocaine, you're favorite. welcome home.
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
My potted cactus died. I am literally less nurturing than the desert.
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
Randomize
