If that was your dad, he is hot
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
The intern claims someone glued plastic eyeballs to his penis last night. He going to show everyone in the conference room at 3pm. There is a $5 cover charge.
My mom just invited me to come with them on their honeymoon to Mexico this summer. And I got a Bump-It in my stocking.
Pass the awkward sauce please.
I'm drowning in it here
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
Nothing says I've got my life together like vomiting on the groom and passing out at your youngests sisters wedding
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
Randomize
