who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
I just found your credit card inside the bag of chips
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
I had nothing but condoms at the checkout, then grabbed a pack of Orbitz gum and said "gotta protect from bad breath" felt like a boss
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
Randomize
