i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
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