and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
He just asked me if I'd be interested in couples therapy. Fuck my life.
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
I CAN CONTROL MY GERBIL WITH MY BREATH. HE FOLLOWS THE SMELL. PROBABLY WOULDNT BE AS EXCITING IF I WASNT HIGH OFF MY ASS, BUT STILL
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
Very mixed signals tonight. He gave me the best handjob while gloating about the Superbowl to his dad on the phone. When he was done he left me on the sofa alone for ten minutes before returning with wet wipes beer and nachos.
I woke up while she was taking a panoramic photo of my morning wood
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