when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
The nice lady at the neighborhood liquor store informs me that we have a new woman-run neighborhood sex shop. Jesus loves me and wants me to have a happy Valentine's day.
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
Being drunk at Chick-fil-A is a dystopian experience
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
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