i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
he pissed his pants, and she still wants to hook me up with him. I try not to date guys with bladder control problems... Unless they're loaded anyway.
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
One step ahead. Always. Roses are red, violets are blue... I'm gonna fuck you with a rake.
I just threw out a whole Christmas ham, 12 positive pregnancy tests, 3 empty vodka bottles and by ex boyfriends Latina porn collection in the same garbage bag. The homeless person who goes through the bins tonight knows I have nothing left to loose.
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
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