I may or may not have started my period at the bar. Good thing I have dark jeans on.
it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
If you’re wondering why the bong is outside the garage door just know I was being environmentally efficient by not using the freezer to chill my shit
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