My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
GOOD IDEA: Stealing the bike a couple blocks away so I don't have to walk. BAD IDEA: riding bike for the first time in years drunk as hell. I'm bleeding and my body hurts and once again I can't find my car.
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
Nothing says I have a hang over like telling your boss to "eat your shit"
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
The cop told me I was the prettiest guy he'd arrested in a while. I'm still not sure if it was a come on or not.
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
Randomize
