Was just shown the photos from a professional photoshoot my aunt had for their dog...not drunk enough for this...
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
I had to rename my dildo. I met a little kid who named his teddy bear the same name. It just felt wrong.
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
Randomize
