Dual....:-)
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
i have some very unhappy turtles in my backseat
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
Wow. I grabbed the wrong container to rinse my contacts- it was a beer. And it comes out waaaay faster than saline.
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
Randomize
