So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
Just woke up to find myself in a random bed with two people next to me having sex. I thought it would be awkward to just suddenly get up so i think I'm gonna lie here and pretend I'm still sleeping.
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
I'm dipping store brand pepperoni pizza in bacon flavored ranch dressing. Obesity tastes so good.
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
I'll just give him your contact info, and you'll somehow manage to get laid. Which will make me feel like your vagina's agent or something.
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
Ok, maybe playing "whose family is most dysfunctional" wasn't the best drunk idea we've had. Todd''s been crying in the bathroom for an hour. We can't get him out...
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
Randomize
